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<DIRECTOR_AC> This is Phil.
<DIRECTOR_AC> Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
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<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 05:17 am (UTC)[Not really. Death and killing being a tragedy was still something he was working on wrapping his head around. But it was a start. He regretted what he'd done when he'd murdered people here, and that guilt was a step in the right direction. So was the guilt he felt over some of things he'd done at home.]
So can I. I consider very carefully if someone is trustworthy.
Are you?
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 05:28 am (UTC)am i? Trustworthy?
I would like to think so but its not something I can really tell you, much like I can say I might not trust ward but I wont tell you he isn't worthy of trust. i would like to think i can be worthy of anothers trust though. i hear some people think so.
And you? Do you feel you can be trustworthy to others?
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 05:43 am (UTC)Maybe. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I want to protect my friends. That's a start, isn't it?
Grant told me to be careful around you.
[That wasn't part of what he'd promised not to tell, so it was okay.]
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 06:00 am (UTC)Im sure he did. [Of course he did] its not bad advice, but i also think you should be careful around everyone.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 06:05 am (UTC)Did he talk to you about. Anything?
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 06:10 am (UTC)'Anything' is a bit vague though, as we have spoken a few times.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 06:33 am (UTC)It was about a woman.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 06:44 am (UTC)[Can't be Audrey. He and Ward didn't talk about her.]
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 07:07 am (UTC)I met her. We talked about closure. She said SHIELD handed her over to HYDRA.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 09:21 pm (UTC)SHIELD at the time was so broken because of HYDRA that im not sure on the details yet, about what happened.
i should have been more on top of these things.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 09:44 pm (UTC)No one should ever have to go through that. They damaged and ruined her just like they did to me. She should have been kept safe. Isn't that what SHIELD does? It should have been prevented.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 09:56 pm (UTC)It's a lot late, now, I agree.
When SHIELD fell I tried to recruit her. Agent 33, at the time. I couldnt find her and when we did it looked as if she were working for HYDRA. There were so many Agents working for HYDRA after the fall. I assumed she was one of them. It wasn't until later that we found out she was brainwashed.
When Ward asked me to take her in and give her a chance, we did what we could to try and help. Did she tell you that? Ward left her there for us to help. She turned on us and kidnapped an Agent of our own. Tortured her. Nearly killed her.
I told you, i made mistakes. Grave ones. I should have done more to protect Kara. Its hard to protect people when other people keep turning to back stab you and your trust. I thought we were helping her and Ward. They played my trust in the end to get what they wanted. I don't know if it's true or not, that our agent turned Kara in to HYDRA or not. I might never know. And your right, it's too late now, but I want to know so no one else falls to that.
it was a huge mistake. one i cant fix.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 10:26 pm (UTC)No. She didn't. tell me about any torture. Just that the person responsible wasn't sorry. We didn't talk that much about it.
She's also dead because of SHIELD. No one can help her now.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 10:34 pm (UTC)even i dont know all the answers and that bothers me
i cant tell you is its true or not that that person is sorry or not. i never got the chance to find out more on it.
SHIELD is responsible for deaths, yes. I wish it hadnt come to it in the end
but SHIELD didn't pull the trigger in the end, her partner did.
you want to know why i have a hard time trusting people now? this incident right here is it. everything about this could have been handled better, from both parties involved.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 10:49 pm (UTC)<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-26 10:59 pm (UTC)Kara had a mask over her face that allowed her to look like who ever she wanted. while looking for our missing agent i sent a team in. one of my team members and kara have been in a few fights, both wearing the same face. as far as i can tell from reports? kara took my agents face in order to get close to my people. her partner found her first and shot her thinking it was my agent.
they were trying to kill us. we were trying to rescue one of our own. she paid the price for it by friendly fire
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-26 11:23 pm (UTC)What would have happened to him, if he hadn't been brought here when he did? If he'd gone through with everything else he was told had happened. How would he have turned out on his own? What if he hadn't had the proper influences here? Would he have turned out like Kara?]
I understand.
Is there anything else I should know about Grant? When we talk...it's not about him.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-27 07:04 am (UTC)The advice he gave you, about me? I'd apply that to him as well.
But...
Hes not reached the same point that I knew him last. This place has changed him. I honestly think he wants to get better.
Im just having a hard time trusting that is all
youre sympathetic to those who have been brain washed
Ward has suffered a type of conditioning as well. not the same. not as forced, but trained from a young age.
i want to believe that everything hes doing in this place is for the good of people like you or skye or fitz.
ask him sometime. about his past. about garret. or why he named his dog buddy. he might talk more about his past at that point.
grant is... one of my mistakes. i should have seen signs or something but he's a good actor. he blends in.
either im letting him fool me again or he means it now. he wants to help.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-27 07:31 am (UTC)[So it wasn't that surprising, just the typical level of upsetting.]
I'll talk to him. Sometime. When I can.
<bearwithme>
Date: 2015-08-27 07:37 am (UTC)im trying to do better with him. i just dont want to see anyone get hurt. not anymore.
and james. i know you have no reason to trust what i say, but I also know you've had one hell of a bad life. if you ask me for something it'll be the truth as far as i know it. and if i can't talk about it? ill say so.
<theasset>
Date: 2015-08-27 08:02 am (UTC)[He wasn't happy about everything he'd heard still, wasn't sure if he was happy with the idea of SHIELD either anymore, but... Coulson had always helped him, so far. That had to count for something.]
Alright.