James it is. [Not a friend. Got it. And he was fine with that anyhow, because it was a start. A name was always a good start to taking back ones humanity.]
[He didn't move to help the other stand. He's sure it wouldn't have been taken well.]
Is there... anything else you want to know right now, James?
[He hesitated for a moment. There was a lot he wanted to know, but he didn't know where to start. Was he ready for it? How would he even ask? He knew something else now though, too. Coulson would give him answers in the future if he asked. The man wasn't afraid to tell him, like the others were.
Maybe they were right to be afraid. Even he didn't know how many people he'd killed or hurt. He was dangerous; just like he'd been trained to be.]
Yes. [Phil said with little thought. He didn’t know him in person, ever, but if Steve Rogers was friends, best friends with the man? How could he have been anything but a good person? Though from what he knows about history? The answer was still yes.]
And as a person, no longer anyones weapon? I believe you still are or can be a good person.
[Was that the answer he'd been hoping for? Or the one he'd been dreading? He didn't know how to be a good person, and he didn't remember ever being one before. He knew how to follow orders, how to kill and hurt, but he didn't know how to be anything else.
And here, someone he didn't even know believed he could be good. Did the others have expectations and beliefs like that, too? It was overwhelming.
He couldn't do this. He could do this right now. He turned away from Coulson, a little shaky still as he started to walk away. The house with Skye and the others...the castle he'd stayed at with Reira, he couldn't go to either of those places. He needed somewhere to be alone.]
[He isn't sure if that was the right answer to tell him, but it was the truth anyhow. And as the man started to pull away and walk off he figured they were done for now. Nothing else required at this time. And look, Phil was still breathing. So he didn’t follow, but after a moment called out to him, being sure to use his name.]
James! [He paused, just to make sure that maybe, maybe he was listening.] If you ever need anything else. You know how to get hold of me. I’m willing to help, if you need it.
[he’d leave it at that unless the other had more to add or not.]
[He paused for a moment, obediently, even though he didn't have to, and he listened. Even though he'd just said Coulson could call him James, it was strange to hear it. He inclined his head to acknowledge that he understood, even if asking for help was hard, and he'd only done it once when it was for someone else, and then kept walking.]
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vintageset) wrote2015-06-05 11:00 pm
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[He didn't move to help the other stand. He's sure it wouldn't have been taken well.]
Is there... anything else you want to know right now, James?
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Maybe they were right to be afraid. Even he didn't know how many people he'd killed or hurt. He was dangerous; just like he'd been trained to be.]
Was he-was I...a good person?
no subject
And as a person, no longer anyones weapon? I believe you still are or can be a good person.
no subject
And here, someone he didn't even know believed he could be good. Did the others have expectations and beliefs like that, too? It was overwhelming.
He couldn't do this. He could do this right now. He turned away from Coulson, a little shaky still as he started to walk away. The house with Skye and the others...the castle he'd stayed at with Reira, he couldn't go to either of those places. He needed somewhere to be alone.]
no subject
James! [He paused, just to make sure that maybe, maybe he was listening.] If you ever need anything else. You know how to get hold of me. I’m willing to help, if you need it.
[he’d leave it at that unless the other had more to add or not.]
no subject